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21 January 2012 2:57pm

It's been a while since I posted on here so I thought I would.

I'm still dealing with some issues due to loosing a job last year about this time for my speech, though I am still working on how it's illegal and such.

I wanted to say that I wanted to put it out there if anyone wanted to add me on here or on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/heatherlparks?ref=tn_tnmn

hope to have some new friends soon

20 January 2012 6:31pm

I'm new to this community, and... I'm not even sure what else to say. I don't have a natural talent for social skills but the stuttering destroyed it completely, so i'm always at loss of words.
I remember that I started stuttering in 6th grade, when i moved to America for the second time, but my relatives tell me I stuttered occasionally since childhood. 6th grade was the one of the worst years of my life (I'm 16 now), i had no friends and i even wrote things on paper to avoid talking. It's not that bad anymore, but I'm still afraid of simple social situations.

The problem is my career choice. I decided to be a doctor, but yesterday my mom sat me down on the couch and told me to face it: I can never be a good doctor because it involves talking to people, making them feel comfortable and valued. It's not like I was ever good at saying the right thing at the right time, but now i feel completely helpless when i have do the talking.

I'm not sure what to do. I decided to try and fix the stuttering somehow, and improve my social skills, but i don't think I will succeed. I'm a junior in high school, so there's a lot of pressure to make a career choice. Do i give up on planning to be a practicing doctor and go into research and pharmaceuticals, or can i still change myself to fit my career choice? We are constantly told about the importance of risk-taking, but it is very problematic because of the speech thing.

Thank you in advance for any help!

28 April 2011 3:43pm

Russia has suggested Japan to accept in case of need suffered from earthquake and a tsunami in the Russian hospitals.

Also Russia has offered Japan medicines and the foodstuffs, the head of the Ministry of Emergency Measures Sergey Shojgu has declared at session of Security Council of the Russian Federation.

As he said, the special attention is given to the potable water which deficiency Japan now tests. «For this reason we have offered installations on a water filtration to Japanese colleagues - that it was possible to organise a normal drinking mode», - the Russian minister has specified.

Watching others stutter [Thursday 
14 October 2010 10:06pm

Right now, I'm watching "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest." One of the characters has a stutter.

Now, with regards to my own stuttering, 98% of the time I'm fine with it. It was pretty severe when I was younger, usually mild now (i.e. past 4ish years). I feel like my fluency really improved, as well as my feelings towards stuttering, once I stopped letting my disfluency bother me. Now granted, 2% of the time I may have a particularly bad stutter, but I generally am just like, "Phew!" when I stop, and just start over. Not letting it overly bother me, kinda making fun of myself and acknowledging it a little and just moving on.

Anyway, I said that background information because, while I normally don't have a problem with my own stutter, I kinda cringe when hearing others stutter because it's like, *That's* what I sound like. Honestly...it's kinda horrifying.

How do you feel when you hear someone else stutter?

stutterer's guilt [Saturday 
05 June 2010 10:34pm

[ mood | awake ]

This may interest to some of you. It's best and by FAR the most rational and non-condescending explanation of the emotional ramifications of stuttering I've ever read.

It's from a clinician's point-of-view, but the writer knows his stuff and isn't writing with the typical Clinician Eye that is so common in descriptions of a stutterer's relationship with his disfluency (Charles Van Riper, I'm looking at you, you pompous ass).

I've been trying for YEARS to express these thoughts -- the guilt and shame, and more importantly, the WHYs behind that guilt and shame -- that result from stuttering and blocks. I've never been able to put those thoughts into such well-outlined words.



it's been a bad month, and I need a place to rant [Monday 
30 November 2009 2:48pm

[ mood | intimidated ]

In the past few weeks, my stutter has taken a rather dramatic downturn. It’s gotten to a point at which I can barely say “hi” most of the time. I’ve taken to ducking and smiling and giggling as a way to camouflage that failing, but I do feel rather like an asshole for not being as reciprocating as I should be. Avoiding getting caught in casual conversation is more of a priority.

And honestly, with strangers, with acquaintances, with store clerks, with people with whom I have a passing relationship, it’s fine. It really is. Maybe I’m thought rude, maybe shy. It works. I smile, I tip well and I stay out of your way in the halls. It works.
The problem is that there are people with whom I honestly love to talk, argue, and just say “hi” or “I love you” to. This is getting frustrating. I love The Boy more than anything in the world and one of the reasons I do is that we can chatter on – seriously, fluffily, randomly – for hours. Hell, he’s the reason I pulled my first all-nighter in college: sitting up all night, just talking and talking and talking. And now I have to IM him from across the couch because I can’t ask how his day went in less than 5 minutes’ worth of wasted breath. Really, just being able to say “I love you” would be nice.

I scribble on napkins instead talking in restaurants and have given up on pleasantries. I want to invite my sister out to dinner, but can’t, because I know I’ll be unable to keep up a conversation with her. My poor officemate has given up even trying to make smalltalk and has resorted to IMing me from 2 feet away or ignoring me entirely. It works, I guess. I know it’s awkward and I know I’m ugly and embarrassing to be around when I get blocked... so it's better for everyone if we just avoid contact.

I know there’s nothing anyone can do, and I know this will pass. It always does. But it’s still effing lonely and I’m just frustrated, so I'm ranting, I guess. Because here's the only place I can.

As long as I don't get fired for being incompetent/unable to do my job, I'm fine, right?

It'll get better. And I promise I mean all the appropriate return-pleasantries, even if all I did was giggle like an idiot when you said "how are you?" to me. I also know you don't have 10 minutes to waste. Everybody wins.

Really, I don't know what I want out of writing this. I just needed to write it somewhere.



3 seconds of feeling sorry for myself: [Tuesday 
29 September 2009 3:25pm

[ mood | cranky ]

Know what sucks?

Of the set "possible names for Kitty", the subset "possible names for Kitty that Ann can reliably say without blocking" is miniscule.

Dang cat is going to end up named "*insert letter-sound here* ... ... ... aw, fuck it".


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